‘In Addition’ by Nathalie Spaans

Dear H.,

I hope you are well, I want that to be sincere.

In 1860 a man named John Ruskin wrote in a letter he found penguins at present the only comfort in life. I want the thought of animals inside me too. You wanted a Bernese Mountain dog, it’s a great family dog.

I’m learning things like, literary devices should serve the text and not the other way round so I’m allowed to say I like tangerines and that they’re my favourite and never mention them again because
we give
what we want
to receive and winds
don’t blow, they suck 1 in a car

2 with my back against a wall in a club

3 when I looked up

‘Du’

the only German that ever left your Disney mouth, you
Freiherr, you held my fucking hand.

I want to say it out loud, your name, your second name. You were standing in front of me with your passport

I’m sorry,

you were

in front of me

peeling. I’m sorry

the only animal I have

is black and white

please

you said you were the devil

I fell

please, I’m sorry

I love you

---

Nathalie Spaans lives and works in Amsterdam, the Netherlands.

In her daily life she finds it hard to convey what’s going on. In writing she tries to make sense of it.

Her work has appeared on the front page of the Open Arts Forum. She likes looking at menus, and other things on the threshold.